The Standard Ripostes


The Standard Ripostes

The Scribe’s Go-to Responses to This and That in the Day-To-Day


Free will looking forward; fate looking back.


* * * *

Live and learn, die anyway.


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Didn’t ask to be here; ain’t prayin’ to be staying.


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If I knew I wasn’t going to wake up tomorrow morning, I’d go to bed early.


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A good idea belongs to everyone.


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It is much less about how you begin than how you end.


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Older than the stars; younger than the moment.


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Carbs in, carbs out.


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How am I doing? Well enough.


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Rich man’s life on a dime.


* * * *

We are all walking the same stage in different universes.


* * * *

Might makes right.


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You can do anything some of the time, but you can’t do anything all of the time.


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The Dark Side ain’t dark to me.


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Don’t know, don’t care.


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What am I doing? As little as possible as often as possible.


* * * *

Every rose fades.


* * * *

What doesn’t kill you today will take another stab at it tomorrow.


* * * *

The Boy Scout who never was.


* * * *

Know Why and Who, but not What.


* * * *

Love my kids too much to bring them here.


* * * *

Five, ten, twenty, thirty years … five, ten, twenty, thirty minutes … who knows?


* * * *

Blood may be thicker than water, but it ain’t that much thicker.


* * * *

The Golden Rule is all you need; everything else is redundant.


* * * *

Got a good statistical sample.


* * * *

Little dick, big truck.


* * * *

Was driving a tractor when I was eight years old.


* * * *​

​We are all cousins of the same puddle.


* * * *

“Well enough,” the answer to the “How am I doing?” patter.


* * * *

Sally on, Brave Knight.


* * * *

All my dire predictions are usually punctuated by: “I’ll be glad to be wrong.”


* * * *

Anonymity is the first line of defense.


* * * *

The land of wishful thinking.


* * * *

No boubt adout it.


* * * *

Win some, lose some, win more later.


* * * *

Some get a royal flush, some not even a high card.


* * * *

I am a human being who happened to be born in Amerik​a.​


* * * *​

​Rent is freedom.


* * * *

Physical health is the only real wealth.


* * * *​

​Good luck with that.


* * * *

There are hotter places, there are colder places.


* * * *

It’s your world now, I relinquish all command and control, good luck.


* * * *

It would be interesting to watch the autopsy.


* * * *

Ciao for now.


* * * *

It has been interesting, but I would never do this to my Self again.


* * * *

Oblivion, my favorite.


* * * *

You bu​y​ cheap, you buy two or three times.


* * * *

A leader can only lead where followers will follow.


* * * *

Pleasure is the absence of pain and bother.


* * * *

There is nothing that you are going to do that I have not done, seen done, or thought about doing.


* * * *

Life, it’ll kill ya.


* * * ​*

​You make me laugh plenty hah-hah hard, Pilgrim.


* * * *

Pay attention, you might live longer.


* * * *

Pity the young.


* * * *

I bask in envy.


* * * *

Another thing I desperately don’t need.


* * * *

Always look back.


* * * *

I have worked very hard to be this lazy.


* * * *

Waiting for the Reaper.


* * * *

It is the same today as it was yesterday as it will be tomorrow


* * * *

A Christmas Tree is dying to come home with you.


* * * *

I brake for tailgaters.


* * * *

An empty bladder and a full mag.


* * * *

Yowza!


* * * *

Wallahoo!


* * * *

Ciao, ciao.


* * * *

Holy Schmoley, Batman.


* * * *

Sometimes you have to go through it to see through it.


* * * *

Cannot remember if it is yesterday or tomorrow.


* * * *

Enjoy that youth thing.


* * * *

You are not the first, and likely not the last, either.


* * * *

Always check your work.


* * * *

What am I up to? … As little as possible as often as possible.


* * * *

Very inconvenient being born.


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Being crazy does not make me wrong.


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Giving to get is not giving.


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Arbitrary is as arbitrary does.


* * * *

Neither borrower nor lender be.


* * * *

Where the tire hits the road.


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What is your most priceless wealth? … The next breath.


* * * *

A culture that does not invest in its young has no vision for its future.


* * * *

Lies, all lies.


* * * *

It is what it is.


* * * *

Before they were monkeys, your ancestors were slime.


* * * *

Far easier not to gain it than it is to lose it.


* * * *

Can't stay clean in a muddy stream.


* * * *

Oh well, so it goes, deal with it, get over it, move on.


* * * *

Life, short no matter how long, long no matter how short.


* * * *

To someone saying “I’m sorry” … “Not sorry enough.”


* * * *

Never let anything hit the bottom of the bucket.


* * * *

Look better than I feel.


* * * *

Just warm from the kill.


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Everything is nothing, nothing is everything.


* * * *

Awareness is the intelligence of eternity.


* * * *

Too many straws in the milkshake.


* * * *

No harm, no foul.


* * * *

Regarding blubber: Harder to lose it than it is not to gain it in the first place.


* * * *

While opening a door for someone: Your universe is working for you.


* * * *

Pfft.


* * * *

Everything born dies; the only question is who buries who?


* * * *

Awareness trumps all idolatry.


* * * *

Good health is your only real wealth.


* * * *

Wisdom is the distillation of experience.


* * * *

Win some, lose some, win more later.


* * * *

Hear! Hear!


* * * *

Try not to wish your life away.


* * * *

Whac-A-Mole


* * * *

A Collusion of Imagination


* * * *

Just do it.


* * * *

Don’t ask, don’t tell.


* * * *

I’m glad I’m old.


* * * *

Do not burn bridges if you do not need to.


* * * *

This ain’t no melting pot, this is an uncooked stew.


* * * *

There are a lot worse places to live.


* * * *

Gotta be born somewhere.


* * * *

Assumptions can kill ya.


* * * *

Why would you praise any god that did this to you?


* * * *

My real name is Peter Pan


* * * *

Worked harder, not smarter.


* * * *

Rich man’s life on a dime.


* * * *

Every night’s a new adventure.


* * * *

Oh, ye of little doubt


* * * *

Why wait to go out on a bad day?


* * * *

Your Mommy doesn’t live here.


* * * *

Anything but a human being.


* * * *

The insanity of humanity.


* * * *

Mowgli in the forest out the back door,

Huck Finn in the Mississippi across the street,

Sisyphus daily pushing the boulder up the mountain,

Johnny Appleseed casting his ruminations across the world,

Sparrowhawk pursuing the shadow across the depths,

Phaedrus journeying down the asphalt pathways,

Paladin have-gun-will-traveling down the trails,

The Joyful Curmudgeon irreverently amused,

Jester Amok unleashing definitive cuisine,

Muad'Dib piercing the water’s secrets,

Bond sipping the shaken-not-stirred,

Joe Everyman wandering all camps,

And Peter Pan in the essence of all.


* * * *

It's a good day to die, tomorrow would be better.


* * * *

Once upon a time.


* * * *

Those were the daze.


* * * *

Needs research.


* * * *

Yes means yes, no means no, and maybe does not mean yes.


* * * *

Life is a marathon, not a sprint.


* * * *

The freezer door is open.



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The Standard Ripostes
The Scribe’s Go-to Responses to This and That in the Day-To-Day
© Michael J. Holshouser 2019
World Rights Reserved